Stupid Parent Tricks

The two most useless words in the English language: “Stop crying” -- rendered even more useless when coupled with “right now.”

My other favorite is “Why did you do that?” Ummmm, I think the answer is “Because I am 18 months old.” Of course, this is also the answer to the question, “ Why aren't you answering me?”

Did you feel that? The earth just shifted a little on its axis. Dear, sweet Bug (I call him “dear” and “sweet” to remind myself that these are adjectives that perhaps one day will again describe my son) went on a learning binge today. Thomas the Tank Engine Activity Table makes a great stool – especially when you want to use it to climb up to door knob height, enter your sleeping sister's room and hit her in the head with a singing Barney toy. (Thanks, Aunt G!) Bug also finally figured out how to escape from his crib. This is bad enough in a normal household where small children do not sleep in laundry/storage/pet supply rooms. It is disastrous in our situation where an escape can mean naughty, I mean adventure-minded, little boys can find all kinds of trouble, I mean adventures, to get into.

Well, I must skedaddle so that I can denude the room of anything remotely resembling fun, interest or danger to my little man. When I am done, I am hoping the room looks like one of those rubber-padded rooms in psych wards, although I doubt anything in my house could ever resemble anything so . . . sterile.